The One with all the Changes

With all that talk about changing my colours I started thinking about myself for a change. I was trying to sew some pants because I really need some and although I did everything right, they ended up too small. I changed all seam allowances to 0,5m instead of 1,5 cm and I managed to get them on and even close them, but they still looked too small.

I don’t really mind that the pants failed (it was only a muslin) but I did mind what I had been fearing for a long time. I had to face reality and admit I had gained more than just a few pounds.

While most of the time I feel alright about myself, I never feel good. Even when I make my own clothes that fit properly, I never feel truly good in them. And it’s got everything to do with the fact that I don’t feel good about myself anymore.ย The thing with gaining weight is that it kind of sneaks up on you. In my head I still was the thin girl I was 5 years ago, but I finally have to admit that that is not me anymore.

Although I don’t want to go back to being super skinny, I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror in my undergarments and say: ‘Stephanie, you’re looking good today!’

So starting tomorrow I’m going on a diet, I’ve got the support of my friends and (most importantly) my boyfriend and the goal is to fit back into the clothes I wore 5 years ago by the end of summer.

You’re all wondering what this has to do with sewing. Well, not much, but sometimes you just want to tell someone and telling ‘the internet’ is less confrontational than telling people you meet everyday. Plus, the sewing community is much more supportive and understanding.

So starting tomorrow I’m working on a new me, as well as new colours.

Love you all!

 

(PS I’m not judging anyone on their weight, I think that everyone should decide for themselves whether they feel good about it or not. People much ’rounder’ than I feel perfectly fine. But I don’t, that’s why I’m doing something about it instead of being unhappy.)

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8 thoughts on “The One with all the Changes

  1. Good for you trying to do something about your self-confidence! Too many people refuse to believe that they can do something to change the way they feel about themselves. I’m glad you have support from those around you – may you stay positive! And I completely understand the “telling the internet” thing. =)

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  2. Succes! Goed dat je er mee aan de slag gaat als het je dwars zit. Goed in je vel zitten is zo belangrijk, je moet tenslotte de rest van je leven nog met jezelf door รฉรฉn deur kunnen ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  3. You go girl (as Oprah or Ricki Lake would say back in the day!) The only thing I would add (for motivation, not to get you down, I promise) is that altho dieting is all very well, it’s exercise that IMO helps more – it releases endorphins in your brain that make you feel better so you get a sense of achievement and well-being. Trust me (and all the scientists who have proven this) it works! Good luck and hope you feel more positive soon x

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  4. Not a diet. A lifestyle change. If you go on a diet, you will be right back here in five years. A sustainable lifestyle change, however, will help you the rest of your life. I wish you success.

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  5. I think basically pants are just evil! Sewing them and trying to get them to fit, anyway, regardless of how much you love your body, ill-fitting pants can often change that in a jiffy. Good luck with the gym and with the pants. I STILL haven’t finished mine. Almost tempted to go buy a similar pair and claimed I sewed them. ๐Ÿ™‚

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