Thinking about size and shape.

For the first three weeks after baby was born, I was sewing up a storm. She was sleeping when she wasn´t eating and I was happy to be able to sew clothes that weren´t maternity wear. But the last week or two, she´s been sleeping less and crying more so I´ve been spending less and less time in my sewing room. Not in the least because exhaustion of nursing 15 times a day is wearing me down and I just want to lie on the couch. Nothing wrong with that 5 weeks post partum but it´s not really what I want to do.

Obviously, lying on the couch, you start thinking. (My husband constantly tells me that I shouldn´t think as much, but being a woman, that´s an impossible thing to ask.) I started wondering why clothes I really liked making or really liked on others, like my latest Linden, didn´t make me look like I wanted them too. I couldn´t pinpoint the problem.

Until Jodi wrote about her Linden. It really got me thinking about the stuff I want to sew because I like the look and the stuff I end up wearing and feeling good in. Those things don´t really match.

For instance, I absolutely adore Grainline Studio patterns. I love the relaxed look of their designs but they never end up looking as good on me as they do on other people. Reading about Jodi´s Linden made me realise that the way I view myself when I plan clothes and the way my body looks is totally different. Up until now my goal was to sew clothes that made me look like I did when I was 18.

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I wish I hadn´t thrown out that dress!

But I´m not 18 anymore. I´ll never look like that again and that´s okay. My 30th birthday is coming up, I´ve had 2 kids, nobody expects me to look like I did back then. Nobody but me.

I realised that there is a big difference between looking skinny and looking good. I´ll never be as skinny as I was back then, but I can still look that good, even with a few extra pounds (or 40).

Everyone would agree that the girl above isn´t skinny but I would kill to look that good. I told my husband about this and he totally agrees. He thinks I look good whatever size I am and he doesn´t get what all the fuss is about. He´s a sweetie 🙂

So from now on I´m done focusing on looking skinny, I´m going to focus on looking good. And feeling great along the way!

Does this mean I´m going to stop sewing Lindens? Ofcourse not, they´re soooo very comfy but I´m no longer going to feel disappointed that I don´t look like a perfect size 0 wearing them. I´m going to accept my body as it is, although I still want to lose the extra baby weight 😉

What does this imply for my sewing? I went through my old blogposts and thought back about all makes that I ended up really loving and wearing to death. Here´s a small selection:

It´s clear that I like dresses and I like wearing belts to accentuate my waist (which is my smallest part), so I should just focus on sewing and wearing those. I like skirts as well, but I have to avoid high waisted and/or gathered skirts because they add bulk to my tummy area and stop right below my boobs… They really make me look like a fat toddler 🙂

It´s time I started showing off my hourglass shape!

 

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13 thoughts on “Thinking about size and shape.

  1. You go girl! It’s strange how our brains can completely warp the image we have of ourselves… I’m often startled by how much of a difference I see in myself depending on my mood! Looking forward to seeing awesome things you feel good about 🙂

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  2. I hear you. I am constantly astonished that I don’t own the long, slender legs that I that I have in my head (that all he girls in Pinteret have)!!! You look amazing in a lot of the stuff you make, so I guess that’s a good starting place.

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    • Pinterest is killing me 🙂 It’s suprisingly hard to find inspirational photos with ‘regular’ bodies in them. They are either size 0 supermodels or really curvacious plus size queens… Nothing in between 😀

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  3. Oh man, one day I’ll post pics of the most recent drapey pink wool coat thing I made… I feel great in it, I like it in the mirror, but in photographs I can see all the angles it makes me look like a stubby, short, round troll! Not. Good. Everyone else looks effortlessly elegant in that pattern… so I have to believe I’m either being hard on myself or the pattern needs some darts and less drapey fabric so that my cute self can show!
    I’ve always thought you look great in everything you make! The silhouettes that stand out are those maxi dresses you made, and any combo of miniskirt/tight/big scarf. Oh, and loved your coatigan! I enjoyed reading your post, and can’t wait to see what you make next!

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    • It’s weird how we see ourselves so differently than others. I don’t wear my coatigan outside the house because it makes me feel bigger than I am 🙂 I still wear it indoors all the time though because it’s so comfortable 🙂 I’m curious about the pink coat, I’ve been wanting to make it up for ages, but I know what you mean… Pictures can be deceiving sometimes though…

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  4. Two years ago I wouldn’t be able to understand how you could say that you want to accept your body as it is and at the same time want to lose the extra baby weight. But now I do! Sewing tought me to accept my body and it had another really freeing effect for me: I stopped comparing myself (or my body) to others. Fun fact: I feel way more body-confident now than I did when I was 18, although I gained probably 15 kg since than and my 18 year old body was nearly “perfect” what I wouldn’t say about my current body. ^^ But no complaints, I’m happy.
    I always feel as it’s hard to explain what all this is about as it always feels somewhat contradictory and confusing when put into words. That’s why I’m always happy when I read a blogpost like yours and get the feeling that I can honestly say: I know what you’re talking about. 🙂

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    • When I was 18, I felt like I needed to lose weight, so I totally get the feeling better in your body now. I’m a lot more confident about being myself than I was back then 🙂 It does sounds contradictory loving myself but still wanting to lose the baby weight. 🙂 I guess the babyweight has more to do with health reasons than loving myself since most of it is concentrated on my stomach. I don’t really mind the extra fluff on my hips or my boobs 🙂

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      • That’s right, my wish too lose weight comes from the wish to be healthy as well. But the fact that I can be happy with my body and want to lose some weight at the same time is probably contradictory for a lot of people, but not for us. 😉

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  5. I’m a bit late to the conversation (finally catching up with some of my blog reading).

    Just wanted to let you know that I have always loved your style! You have amazing taste in fabric/colors and you always style your outfits in ways that makes me want to raid your closet. =)

    And just to add my own two cents, I’ve worked with all kinds of actors and no one is ever completely objective about their own body – it’s hard to really see yourself when you can’t view yourself from an outside perspective. I’ve been essentially the same size for about 20 years, but I have days where I feel fat, days I feel too skinny, days I feel short, the list goes on – yeah emotions can definitely lie to you!

    Wear what you love and do it with confidence because anyone can wear anything as long as they have the confidence not to look uncomfortable in their outfit. People subconsciously pick up on someone being uncomfortable but confidence can only be admired.

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